Bitch, Shut The F**k Up

Posted: July 30, 2012 in Life

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I often find myself arguing with… well, myself. It really defines my peculiarity in general. Amidst the battle against my inner demon comes my appreciation that this oddity has been my life line in times when I just want to… retaliate against narcissistic behavior surrounding me–smothering every bit of optimistic molecule suspended throughout my little big bubble.

I am a stronger woman than a lot of people I have known and I know. I do not dwell so much on illusions that people may be creating about me. I get back up pretty fast when someone trips or pushes me and I fall… even if it means OVER, and OVER, and OVER again. I do not recall so much of ruining someone’s reputation because I dislike the person. Why? What would I gain from it?

I do not need a reason to be angry with myself.

Certain humans try to launch my rockets, regardless how many times I shy away. It’s like some people would love to see how angry I can really get, how far can I go and IF I even fall into their traps. Some people… well, they like to fabricate stories and run along with it until they start believing their own lies and leave themselves cooking another lie, until they start defending themselves from a situation that exists only in their minds—

Please, I am trying hard to be kind enough so I do not have to shove your verbal abuse back down your throat.

It takes every inch of my body to sometimes just sit there and take sucker punches to my throat, stomach and a little stabbing to the heart but, I do. When the town gossip drives up to me and render unsolicited information of how “So and So is ruining your reputation”… I just sit there, and ponder… and argue with myself.

Should I fight back? Defend myself? Fall for the bait?

No, I say.

“Bitch, Shut The Fuck Up.”

and despite my bewilderment…

Shutting up the bad thoughts lingering in my head saved myself from staining up my soul. So go ahead and make up excuses to be angry at me.

There will come a time that my patience will come to an end and then I will…

Ahhh Bitch, Shut The Fuck Up.

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